Kill The Messenger

Posted by fxckfeelings on November 5, 2009

Bitching about our higher-ups at work is a national pastime, but the sad fact is, there’s a reason bosses get paid more; being the one in charge of keeping everyone else happy is a real pain in the ass. If you get thrust into that position at work yourself and are expected to rally the troops, you first need to ask yourself whether you’re leading them to victory, or your own personal Waterloo.
-Dr. Lastname

I’ve worked at the same place for a long time. I’m a secretary, but I do get some respect due to seniority and the fact that I’ve always gotten along well with my peers and the higher-ups. That’s why some of my co-workers, who are younger and don’t know the new boss as well as I do, pushed me to confront him about the fact that he’s made some foolish decisions about the staff. The only problem is that, knowing he’s clueless and impulsive, I doubt he’ll hear what we have to say and he may well feel that we’re trying to get him fired, which may prime him to retaliate. Plus, all these kids are pushing me to say something because they’re angry and feel that agreeing with one another validates what they say, but they have no real evidence that the boss said what he did. I want to make the boss see that he has to be more careful so we can all go back to doing our jobs.

It’s an achievement that you have the confidence of your peers and administrators—kudos—but your goal is not to represent your co-workers, or anyone else, before first considering the risks.

From management’s side, you might be seen as leading a mutiny, make yourself responsible for the actions of people who are not as restrained and sensible as you are, and, surprise, get yourself fired. From your co-worker’s point of voice, you may also piss everyone off because you can’t give them the justice they sent you for.

In the end, the only thing everyone may agree on is that they’re mad at you. Then you’ll get depressed, and then tada, welcome to my practice!

Sure, you might do some good, but it’s your job to consider how likely that is. We both know you’re not going to stop the boss from being an idiot any time soon, so the odds of good results are slim at best.

The main problem with becoming mouthpiece for the aggrieved is that you assume responsibility for things over which you have no control. Your peers are the only ones who can describe and possibly document the complaints that are bothering them, and they may be less likely to do that if they rely on your prestige and their own collective vehemence. Ironically, by agreeing to speak for them and help, you may well do their cause more harm than good.

Your goal then is not to represent the downtrodden (unless, again, you think it will do some good and is worth the risk), but to encourage the downtrodden to think strategically, and speak for themselves if they think it will do some good.

The key thing to emphasize, however, is that that they should say something if it will do good, not feel good. Otherwise, tell them that, in your aged wisdom, they should be prepared to shut up, eat shit, and talk to their lawyers to find out if they have a case.

STATEMENT:
Prepare a statement that gives them what they need—good advice—and not what they want—you mouthing their resentment. “I value the good relationships we have at this job and regret that, lately, the atmosphere has become tense with our new boss. I suggest we take some time, gather the facts, and discuss them with the boss and see if we can reach a better understanding. Let’s assume, from the beginning, that we don’t know if we can make things better and we don’t want to make things worse. Let’s keep our tone positive to avoid making him defensive or stirring up fears of legal action. This should not stop anyone who believes he or she has legal grounds for a suit from seeing a lawyer; just don’t mention that fact or become negative until we’ve finished assembling our case and see what kind of response we get.”

I oversee four departments at work. One of the department heads I supervise has, in many ways, a nightmare personality—annoying, overly-emotional, your basic big baby—but that doesn’t bother me because he comes up with great ideas that contribute a lot to our company, so I put up with his attitude. The problem is that the three other department heads, from where they stand, don’t really see what he contributes, and are annoyed with me for not firing a guy whom they only know as a total pain in the ass (and now their entire departments are pissed off at me as well). As a boss, I know I’m doing the right thing, but at the same time, keeping him around is starting to create a semi-toxic atmosphere. My goal is to get my staff to see that the creative guy is worth the trouble because of all the good things he’s done.

It would be nice if his peers could see the value of your department head, Mr. Creative-but-obnoxious, but they don’t, and it’s not because you haven’t made a good effort to open their eyes and encourage tolerance. Your efforts are evidently no match for his charm.

If you continue to protect Mr. Creative for the sake of his good ideas and their potential contribution, the rest of your staff may form a warm, cohesive lynch mob. I’m assuming that’s not the kind of team-building you’re after.

Of course you don’t want to waste time on conflict-resolution meetings chaired by Human Resources or, even worse, by your boss, who will eventually get you canned if you keep on presenting him with more problems than solutions.

Your goal is a lot simpler than you might thing—to make a living and do the best with the materials at hand. If your team can’t tolerate this guy and he can’t benefit from your advice on how to play better with others (I assume you’ve done your best to improve his social skills), then he and his good ideas and your attempts to use them are fucked.

In other words, as valuable as this jerk’s ideas are, the fact that your team can’t accept him is what you must accept, and keeping him on your team is bound to do more harm than good. Show him the door. Isn’t being a boss grand?

STATEMENT:
Prepare a statement that protects you and your staff from personal feelings of failure despite the failure of your attempts to get the creative guy’s ideas accepted. “I’ve got a great team of hard-working managers. Recently, we all took on the challenge of trying to work with someone who has a different style and provocative ideas. We worked to tolerate these stylistic differences and, as a result, I think we benefited. But now we’ve reached a point where the differences interfere with our work, so it’s time to end this experiment, use the good ideas we’ve gained, and move forward.”