The Not-So-Great Depression

Posted by fxckfeelings on August 6, 2020

The Declaration of Independence guarantees all American citizens the right to pursue happiness, and sure, that’s the dream, but if you’ve ever watched auditions for TV talent competitions then you know not everyone pursuing their dream can or should ever get it. So if you’re unhappy, feeling sorry for yourself is unavoidable, but blaming yourself isn’t allowed; no matter who you are or where you’re from, feelings are not something you can control. As we always say, feeling bad shouldn’t prevent you from trying to be a good person, which—no offense, founders—is the pursuit that really matters.    
-Dr. Lastname

I have been dealing with a lot of issues for about five years but I can’t seem to work through them and it angers me. There are times where I can be OK and even happy, but then it changes to where I’m so sad or angry and can’t that I can’t do normal daily activities like eating or getting up. Recently I’ve been sleeping way too much but then I always seem to wake up more tired then I was before. My goal is to figure out how to manage these problems and get back to my normal life. 

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We would all like to figure out our problems and feel better—that’s what my industry is built upon—but that’s often impossible, especially when your problem is not knowing why you feel bad in the first place. So pushing yourself to solve your issues for years and years isn’t helping; it’s creating a whole new set of problems that are just making things worse. 

It’s OK to try to figure out your problems, and talking to friends and/or a shrink is standard procedure. But remember, what you’re doing when you try to figure out your problems is to see whether there’s anything to be figured out and whether therapy, advice, meditation, exercise, etc. make any difference whatsoever. There’s always a good chance that something uncontrollable is going on, and your job, in that case, is to shift gears from solving the problem of managing the uncontrollable.

If you’ve worked hard at figuring things out and are still having the depressive symptoms you’ve described—feeling sad, angry, tired, low in energy, and unable to get up and get things done—then here’s the standard management procedure, which applies to almost any medical problem. 

First, research it and try all the non-medical treatments that you think might be beneficial, like exercise, yoga, and meditation. The most important of these is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), a technique that teaches you how to argue with/refute the fake, negative, personally self-critical and catastrophe-loving news that depression puts in your head. There are therapists who can teach you how to use CBT, but you can also try to learn it on your own from a book. 

If the non-medical methods don’t work, or are unlikely to work fast enough, and you think your symptoms are severe enough to interfere with your major priorities in life (like working and loving your family), then you need to find a psychiatrist to try medications. The good news is that most of the medications for depression are very low risk. The bad news is that they usually take at least a month to act and we never know which ones you’re most likely to respond to, so it can take a long time to find one that works.

In the meantime, don’t waste your time being mad at yourself for not being able to accomplish something that was impossible in the first place. In reality, you’ve managed to hold a life together in spite of difficult, off-and-on symptoms of depression. You’ll never be able to make yourself better, but if you learn to improve your management of those feelings you’ll feel better about yourself. 

STATEMENT:  

“I feel like I’m missing something and have lost the key to living a happy life, but I’ve done my best to understand my problems and it’s doubtful that my issues have gone unattended. I’ll check to see if there’s any major stone left unturned while also educating myself about the non-medical and medical treatments for depression, and then use them, if necessary, to manage my symptoms.”