5 Ways To Prevent Depressive Thoughts from Becoming Assumed Beliefs

Posted by fxckfeelings on April 30, 2020

As with addiction, admitting you’re depressed is merely the first step to management and recovery. After that comes the work of fighting your depressive thoughts so they no longer make you doubt yourself, your work, and your right to live. So if, as with our reader from earlier, your grief and/or depression are making your life impossible, here are five ways to prevent those depressive thoughts from becoming assumed beliefs.

1) Ignore Your Emotions

Depression is like having your own personal garbage internet messageboard in your head; it will tell you you’re bad at your job, have lost the respect of those you work with and for, and should just crawl in a hole and die. In truth, you’re probably doing a good job, given the way that you feel, so the first step is the most obvious one; learning to push back when your brain floods you with negative feedback. Just because you feel bad doesn’t mean you’re doing everything badly, so don’t let your sadness taint your impression of your performance, self, worth, etc.

2) Be Your Own Best Friend

One quick way to refute your internal negativity is to ask yourself whether you’d say something similar to someone you care about. Ask yourself what standards you would expect this friend to meet given their situation/illness, and what language and tone would be appropriate, both in terms of being kind and motivating. You’d probably conclude rather quickly that you would never been that harsh to a friend because it’d be far more hurtful than helpful, and if you wouldn’t say it to a friend you shouldn’t say it to yourself.

3) Find the Facts

The best way to combat the misinformation coming from your brain is through research into your illness, because knowing exactly how depression works, and how little you are to blame for being afflicted by it, will make the thoughts easier to ignore. You will find that illness happens and people often have very little ability to prevent it. And even when they know they didn’t cause it they find ways to blame themselves for not eating healthy or sleeping enough, even though the major causes of depression are usually bad genes or bad luck. You will also find that depression is common, can be triggered by grief, and that you can lose focus and motivation regardless of how well you take care of yourself or how motivated you are to do your work. Once you know that your illness isn’t your fault, it’s easier to take its insults less personally and be less ashamed for being afflicted.

4) Stand Up To Stigma

Even after admitting to yourself that you’re depressed, it can be hard to admit it to others, especially outside of your inner circle. On the one hand, you’re entitled to keep your personal information private. But if your depression is imparing your ability to do your job—if it makes you look angry or withdrawn, or less eager to volunteer to do your part, or harder to focus and do your job well—then calmly stating to your colleagues what you’re going through won’t just explain your poor job performance but will also probably make them more understanding, patient, and eager to help going forward. Don’t ask for help apologetically, as if you’ve messed up and need forgiveness. Instead, let people know you’re having a tough time with symptoms, but you’re still trying very hard to do a good job and take care of your problem.

5) Out of Hiding, Seek Help

Your depression may tell you that it’s not worth getting help, or that looking is too hard, or that you’ll just end up pumped full of drugs and even more miserable. But this, of course, is yet more bullshit. Fighting the negativity of depression is hard, but a cognitive therapist can help you identify and challenge those negative thoughts and prevent them from becoming accepted. Medication may also help, although it takes at least several weeks to work and often requires multiple trials before an effective one can be found. Mostly, finding outside help will give you the support to face your illness. It will give you an outside opinion to remind you that you’re not a bad person, that bad symptoms happen to sane people, and that you’re not alone. Respect your work ethic while you prepare to fight a serious illness and give yourself the support and treatment you need.