5 Ways To Make Decision Making Less Emotional

Posted by fxckfeelings on June 13, 2019

Whether you’re reeling from one personal tragedy or years of mistreatment, it can be hard to trust your judgment when you’re feeling wounded and vulnerable. But if you let those emotions cloud your ability to move forward and make decisions then you’ll just prolong your pain and make your vulnerability worse. So here are five ways to make your decision making less emotional, no matter how emotional you’re feeling at the time.

1) Don’t Fixate on Fears

Focusing too much on your wishes and anxieties will make them seem more real and important. Then you’ll start to believe that you can’t go forward until you feel better, or worse, that you can’t go forward, period. While you can’t expect yourself to be able to stop those feelings entirely, you can force yourself to investigate the choices and resources that are actually available to you, no matter how negatively you feel, and determine whether you genuinely do or don’t have the skills and opportunities to do what needs to be done.

2) Determine the Data

The best way to counter irrational fear and negativity is with a good hard look at reality. As such, you probably need objective information that you don’t have, so be prepared to seek advice, not just from friends, but also experts, particularly lawyers and therapists. Your trauma and self-doubt may intimidate you into thinking you’re really helpless, but make no assumptions until you know the facts and have considered what you can do with them.

3) Determine How to Do Good, Not Just Feel Good

Ask yourself what you value most in life, not what you feel most happy or optimistic about, by making a sort of bucket list of basics. In other words, imagine yourself facing death and ask yourself what would you would most want to have accomplished, regardless of whether it made you happy or forced you to endure hard times along the way. Achieving financial independence, being a good friend, and doing useful work may not be as exciting as running with the bulls or getting a tattoo, but they’re what truly makes a life complete.

4) Remember Possible Risks

The best way to avoid choices that may be too emotional—i.e., those that would immediately make you happy or ease your fears—is to force yourself to give thought to possible risks. Don’t let yourself ignore risks simply because you’re feeling confident or be paralyzed by them because you’re feeling anxious. Once you have the facts you can make a better assessment as to the safest, smartest way to proceed, regardless of how exciting or intimidating an option may appear.

5) Seek Out Moral Support

Experts may help you make decisions based on real information, but without friends, family, and even a therapist to have your back, it’ll be hard to follow through. Make sure your support team is there to give you backing and perspective, not just sympathy. When you’re recovering from trauma or facing a scary transition, it’s normal to have feelings that stir up self-doubt and pessimism that make it hard to keep going. If you can find people who will remind you of the strengths and other resources you had before things went wrong, you’ll be able to find the clarity and courage to make the right choices going forward.