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Nobody's ever died from bottling up their feelings, but plenty of people have died from unbottling them.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Subm*ssion Guidelines

How to submit a problem:
Please submit your problems/questions/issues here, or, if you prefer, write us here.

How to format your submission:
Dr. Lastname’s main interest is in helping you distill your problems into realistic goals. For example:

WRONG SUBMISSION FORMAT: My wife is always angry, my dog hates me, it never stops raining, and I hate everything. What can I do to rid my life of suck?

Instead, specify your goal for dealing with your problem:

RIGHT SUBMISSION FORMAT: My wife is always angry, my dog hates me, it never stops raining, and I hate everything. My goal is to make my life less shitty.

From there, Dr. Lastname can help you find a goal you can actually work with.

How to keep everyone out of trouble:
Please keep in mind that this site is a public forum. Queries should be written as to protect your identity and the identities of those involved. Obviously, real names are forbidden, and facts should be altered as much as possible to protect everyone’s privacy.

How to take Dr. Lastname’s advice:
If your submission is selected for the site, please be prepared for advice that, while helpful, may require a painful acceptance of reality and may use rough language to promote that process. If you want advice that holds your hand and promises bullshit, might we suggest seeking help from a bullshit “doctor firstname,” like Phil, Laura, or, for that matter, Nick.

Fine Print: We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity, and, due to the volume of submissions, there is no guarantee that a question will be responded to.

By submitting a letter to this website, you grant F* permission to publish it on this site or elsewhere, including print publications, but your name and email address will always remain private.

Dr. Lastname’s opinions are intended for informational purposes only; they are not intended to treat or diagnose, nor are they meant to replace the diagnosis you may be receiving from a healthcare professional. If you have specific medical concerns, or a situation in which you require immediate professional help, please consult with a qualified specialist.

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